So I know what you’re saying, “Who Cares?”. Well, you really should. Apathy will get you nowhere my friend.
You watched “The Wizard of Oz” as a kid and it scared the crap out of you. You even watched it in college while listening to “The Dark Side of the Moon”. You now watch it with your kids (more like force them to watch it). Yet you still never even thought to ask “Just what is that freaking Tin Man supposed to be?”. I mean the Cowardly Lion is a lion, that idiot Scarecrow is a scarecrow, but what the f**k is the Tin Man?
Why would anyone build this Robbie the Robot wannabe only to chop down trees? I mean, in the primitive land of Oz, the munchkins went to all the trouble of designing and fabricating this elaborate cyborg, complete with artificial intelligence, and for what? Clear cutting old growth timber is a tedious job, but come on! A heartless automaton butcher of this magnitude could have distinct tactical military applications, the least of which being assassination of Wicked Witches. Alas, the Tin Man is resigned to merely use his axe to chop wood.
So, a mechanical-man stands rusting near a yellow, urine-stained brick road as if he belongs there and no one thinks to ask WTF?
I finally did, and found that Oz is not all Ruby Slippers and sleep-inducing narcotic flowers. It has a dark side. A Dexter-esque dark side.
According to my research, the Tin Man was at one time a normal munchkin (as if any munchkin could possibly be normal) known to all as Niccolo ‘Nick’ Chopper. Nick was a simple woodsman, as was his father before him. After tending to his wood alone for years, Nick succumbed to the desires of the flesh and fell for pint-sized tart named Nimmie Amee.
Now, Nimmie worked as a servant to a wretch of an old lady who did not want to lose Nimmie and have to clean up after herself, so she paid the Wicked Witch to intervene. The Witch cast a spell upon Nick’s trusty axe so it would chop off his body parts, one at a time. As each limb came off, Nick employed a local tinsmith to create new prostheses. Yada, yada, yada, long story short, Nick’s entire body is remade in tin except for his heart (duh!). No heart, no way to love, so he didn’t give a crap about Nimmie anymore. In time, Nick’s libido waned and he did the only thing left for a man of tin to do. He became engrossed in his work until he rusted-out and was incapable of movement. Enter Dorothy…
You watched “The Wizard of Oz” as a kid and it scared the crap out of you. You even watched it in college while listening to “The Dark Side of the Moon”. You now watch it with your kids (more like force them to watch it). Yet you still never even thought to ask “Just what is that freaking Tin Man supposed to be?”. I mean the Cowardly Lion is a lion, that idiot Scarecrow is a scarecrow, but what the f**k is the Tin Man?
Why would anyone build this Robbie the Robot wannabe only to chop down trees? I mean, in the primitive land of Oz, the munchkins went to all the trouble of designing and fabricating this elaborate cyborg, complete with artificial intelligence, and for what? Clear cutting old growth timber is a tedious job, but come on! A heartless automaton butcher of this magnitude could have distinct tactical military applications, the least of which being assassination of Wicked Witches. Alas, the Tin Man is resigned to merely use his axe to chop wood.
So, a mechanical-man stands rusting near a yellow, urine-stained brick road as if he belongs there and no one thinks to ask WTF?
I finally did, and found that Oz is not all Ruby Slippers and sleep-inducing narcotic flowers. It has a dark side. A Dexter-esque dark side.
According to my research, the Tin Man was at one time a normal munchkin (as if any munchkin could possibly be normal) known to all as Niccolo ‘Nick’ Chopper. Nick was a simple woodsman, as was his father before him. After tending to his wood alone for years, Nick succumbed to the desires of the flesh and fell for pint-sized tart named Nimmie Amee.
Now, Nimmie worked as a servant to a wretch of an old lady who did not want to lose Nimmie and have to clean up after herself, so she paid the Wicked Witch to intervene. The Witch cast a spell upon Nick’s trusty axe so it would chop off his body parts, one at a time. As each limb came off, Nick employed a local tinsmith to create new prostheses. Yada, yada, yada, long story short, Nick’s entire body is remade in tin except for his heart (duh!). No heart, no way to love, so he didn’t give a crap about Nimmie anymore. In time, Nick’s libido waned and he did the only thing left for a man of tin to do. He became engrossed in his work until he rusted-out and was incapable of movement. Enter Dorothy…
P.S.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more macabre, Nimmie ends up marrying a man mostly made up of Nick’s old, discarded body parts. In your face, Mary Shelley.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more macabre, Nimmie ends up marrying a man mostly made up of Nick’s old, discarded body parts. In your face, Mary Shelley.
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